zen and the art of being fucking still.

Zen and the art of being Fucking still.

      In recent months I have become a Yoga fanatic. I particularly favor Hot Vinyasa or sweaty yoga. Now I could go on and on about the union of the body and soul. The spiritual oneness with the universe but I will spare you my new agey leanings. Beyond those, it gets you in touch with your body and is a hell of a work out. one of the huge things yoga is teaching me is how to be fucking STILL.

      I am not a particularly hyper person. I have shit to do and all that modern stuff. My brain sometimes likes to wander far afield and I become restless. What I have learned in beginning yoga is I truly suck at being still. At sitting, breathing and just being in the moment.
Not composing my to do list in my head.
Not pondering plans for the weekend.
Not escaping into random moments of imagination.
But sitting still. Being in my own body completely and accepting it as a whole. Breathing and doing nothing. That alone for me takes so much more effort than any physical yoga move could. My body can be tamed given time and repetition but my brain.. well its weird and likes to be off the leash.

    I have noticed that there is something conditioned in modern society to view stillness as some sort of alarm. Don't believe me? Go sit on a bench somewhere and just sit. Don't fidget. Don't look at your phone, or watch every five minutes. Don't listen to music, don't swivel your head around watching everything that passes like a puppy. keep you position, make no eye contact and regard the view in the expanse of your eyes. See how long it takes for someone to look at you a little funny. For someone to inquire if you are "ok". For them to become a little suspicious. It's and interesting experience. In the first minute you feel conspicuous but determined. Soon you adjust but register a tension around you. Suspicion creeps in and confusion. You are now outside the norm of behavior and people in general are uncomfortable with this. Eventually like harry potter under his cloak (yes I am a nerd) your un normalness becomes normal and therefore you become invisible.

        The art of being still is one lost in recent generations. A lot of time was spent in history sitting still and thinking about things deeply. This wasn't because people were dumber or simple. The focus was different. Less instant gratification and more deliberation. This brought a richness to life that we are slowly losing as time marches on. Simple walks now have to have a purpose. Picnics instagramed. Every thought instantly put out before an audiences for instant approval or debate. Gone are the days of regarding someone and it not being a goal driven pursuit. Simple attention is often viewed as uncomfortable.  It requires stopping, being still and listening. We realize life is missing something... intangible.Then we find ourselves in a sweaty 100 degree yoga class and are told to sit still. Breathe. BE. and our brains nod mutely in agreement with the solemnity of a particularly mischievous toddler..
sure sounds great!
Ok! I am Being.
Fidget fidget.
no focus! Breathe...
did someone just walk by?
FOCUS.
When I am done here I need to go..
BREATHE
wow the lady in front of me has some cool leggings
whyareyoureyesopengoddamnit.
fidget fidget
Shift
Breathe
Focus
Click.
bliss.
blink blink.... holy shit.
now I get it.

      Today, we search for the next distraction, the next amusement with the speed of a hummingbird on crack being chased by a t-rex. The end result is dissatisfaction at the outcomes. Eventually the distraction needs to be faster, more amusing, more validating of our own selves in that moment. This creeps into our relationships, conversations, interactions and expectations in life. The end result more restlessness. feeling out of balance, lacking some essential connection or building block that is key in our lives.   I am not going to go all extremest and tell you to go unplug from it all because that's not realistic and  technology is awesome. However, don't lose the skill set that has evolved in your ancestors for thousands of years. Its now a talent and a discipline to have which makes it invaluable. To momentarily pause in the raging rush of life. Feel your blood pulse through your veins and the strength of your muscles holding you. Focus on nothing farther than the moment and the air rushing in and out of your lungs and...

Fucking be Still.