EMS Truth or Dare

EMS Truth or dare

Ok... So over my years in EMS I have been asked a lot of questions about what its REALLY like. One of you suggested I write a blog about EMS. So being a smart ass I picked common EMS misconceptions and or truths. 

  

We all mainline coffee

               In my experience Mountain Dew (diet or regular) seems to be an EMS staple more than coffee. I think it’s to do with coffee getting cold quick and our calls usually coming with in the first bite or sip of something warm. Every. Damn. Time. And mountain dew is pretty awesome. SCIENCE!

Coffee break.. when you take a break from coffee this happens.

We all watch Chicago fire or Grays anatomy

               Meh.. Some of us do. Most of us find the amped up, unrealistic drama on the shows a little too much. The group favorite for no real reason seems to be NCIS. It seems no medic can pass up that show. I think its Abby.

Seriously. Abby Rules.

We all have twisted senses of humor... usually at inappropriate times. 

               Motherfucking truth, but with a reason. We may whisper “come on you bastard, show yourself” While trying to intubate a patient. We aren’t talking to the patient but their vocal cords. We may make Frankenstein jokes while coaxing electrical current through a heart to tease it back to life. We may even push D50 on the hypoglycemic patient then step back and call out “ARISE AND WALK SON!!!” It happens. It’s not disrespect. It’s a coping mechanism. If we walked around looking very clearly at the terrified family members, near dead patient and the situations we get called to we would probably all be scared shitless all the time and frozen in place. By cursing stubborn vocal cords we can remind ourselves to focus on the issue at hand and not the father with the heart that stopped depending on that tube being placed right.  Frankenstein jokes when we are close to getting someone back help stop the panic from welling up that we might lose this nice grandma’s heart beat with 15 grandkids again. We are the personality type that will fake it until the call is done then we will collapse into a puddle of medic Jell-O. 

Usually your partner...

We are Jocular with each other. 

               Yeah, this one is true but again for a reason. We aren’t all morons who take nothing seriously. We all are pretty good at reading situations quickly and figuring out the best what to make contact. That being said if one of us had a rough call and I wander up with my precious moments doll expression on and ask “ Aaaarrreee Youuuu Ooooookkkkkaaaaayyyy?” in that whispery therapist voice that grates on the nerves that person will shut the fuck right down. It’s too intent, too real and feels too invasive. Now if I wander up and say “holy hell, that call sounded fucked up! Was he crammed in the bathtub again?” that person is likely to laugh nod and respond easing into talking about the rough part of the call. We aren’t being insensitive to the patient we are offering an easier less intimidating way for our partners to access the emotions of the call.  We aren’t stupid. We have a method to our madness. 

 

We all hook up

               Nope. Gah. Sorry. Not because we aren’t an attractive group.. we usually are but you spend easily 16 hours in a small space with someone day in and day out. Listening to their problems, snores, family issues, jokes, and other things you become like a family. A Brotherhood (the genderless one) is probably the closest description.

Not only are you with that person a lot you are with them in high pressure, sometimes dangerous and/or ridiculous situations. You are in that spot frequently and with no forward warning. So a whole level of got your back trust builds there. This isn’t to say we don’t annoy the living hell out of each other sometimes. We totally do but it becomes in a pestering your sibling sort of way. (One of the many EMS perks is the ability to tell your partner to shut the fuck up without HR getting involved. We all tend to be the get it out and let it go personality types.) So no, no matter how many firemen calendars you may own they are all still like brothers or sisters to us so hook ups would be incestuous and gross. 

We are all crazy lead foot drivers

               For the most part this is true. If you ever want to rob a bank and need a getaway driver recruit a medic. Not only do we know all the back roads and routes by heart we practice in a heavy unwieldy front wheel drive truck. Put us in a car with muscle and no one can catch us.

Bringing out the Dead is a representation of EMS

               Sort of. It’s a fabulous example of burn out. This can happen to someone who doesn’t debrief after calls or holds traumatic calls close to the vest until it builds up like a game of Tetris from hell. A bad call for one of us is usually close to an episode in any saw movie for most people. If we call it a bad call its fricking BAD. We for the most part are good about talking to our partners, friends or family about calls but even with debriefings some can and will haunt you your whole career.

We all want to save the world

               Nope. We want to make a difference where we can. Saving the world is for people with capes and iron men suits. We are the personality type who see something horrible happening and want to help make it better. Not fix it. Not erase it from happening. We want to help that person through it. That’s how we cope. We jump in and try to control the chaos. That’s more the motivation for a lot of us. Order from Chaos. We know realistically that there are people we can never save. They are too far gone, too deeply addicted, too injured to bring back. To those we offer comfort. To the ones we can we smooth the chaos and try to make it a little better.

We are all fitness freaks

               HAHAHAHahahahaha… Nope. Most of us are active, yes. Most of us take an interest in our body and our health. Some of that is because our livelihood depends on our ability to fetch and carry. Most of it is because day in day out we witness first-hand what poor nutrition, drugs, alcohol and bad genetics can do to the human body. Me personally I have Asthma. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was in my 20s. Up until that point I thought running always meant chest pain for the first mile. I have seen enough people with asthma not conditioning their lungs run into some serious issues that lead to their inevitable end. That’s definite motivation to keep things running as smoothly as possible.

No we are not all health nuts either. To balance the health side we all work under a huge sleep debt, high stress, pressure, time from family, interrupted meals, gas station food, interrupted or missed phone calls, and all kinds of chaotic distractions. In the end we hope it all balances out by the end of the day. Or week... Maybe month.. next year?

  

We are all easy going

               I think most of us learn to be this way given time. There are all types of personalities in EMS. Just like your work there are type A personalities, a-holes, wonder kids, ricky rescues and people putting in their time. However, if going on a whole lot of 911 calls teaches you anything its what’s really worth getting worked up over. Which in the end is not all that much. Problems can be talked through. Arguments discussed. We tend to take long views of problems and try to see the other person’s perspective on situations. In the end this makes us pretty damn mellow.  Now, when we are driving lights and sirens and some idiot won’t move… Then we hulk out. But generally we all tend to be pretty chill. 

        

Over all its a pretty awesome, hard, rewarding, exhausting job. We may have all come to it for different reasons but we all stick with it for the same reason...

Easy out for speeding tickets. 

(No.. Not really) 

      I will leave you with the Lounge's ten commandments of EMS

Did I miss anything?