Odd twists of fate

   Odd twists of fate

       I have an odd situation. I have a whole bunch of things I want to write about but nothing that is jumping out at me. This situation reminded me of this classic. 

The night was.... FUCK!!

            Of course now you all know I am old. Old enough to have watched billy crystal as a young man and post pictures of someone actually typing at a typewriter. Fuck AARP.

    A lot of you have messaged me on the side inquiring about the cleric “Paul”. Has he made a decision? What the fuck was that about?  Is it true that Minnesota winters have two speeds; either eyeball freezing or snow? Yes, I don’t know, and Yes. 

               So a lot of discussion has taken place for Paul since that post. He has gone to some peers and had many a long discussion with me regarding the origins of all of this issue. Paul has been a member of his religious organization for around 15 years. He was drawn in by his faith but has found service to others the main reason why he has stayed. He has been integral in the groups education and service to the homeless for most of his time there. Recently he celebrated his 40^th birthday and was shifted/promoted in his position to a more supervisory role. This took him off the streets and out of the hands on portion of his job and into more of a desk job kind of role. This is not what he wanted. The end result is a less than satisfying rewards from his job and a huge age milestone. 

            The change has left him questioning his happiness in general and his solitude specifically.  Paul belongs to a branch of the clergy that is fairly traditional while being liberal.  His branch is independent and he is somewhat isolated by region and location. His chosen path is obvious at first glance and can sometimes raise a wall around him causing more isolation. His calling to service with the homeless helped him breech those barriers and make some friendships. However given the transient nature of his contacts and his position most of his friends ended up also being clergy.

     So that brings us to Paul today. The crisis manifested in not him questioning his faith, but in his role in it. He took a long look at his life to date and found everything solid except for his isolation and general lack of deep relationships. More specifically deep meaningful relationships that encompassed his entire self and not just his calling.  (Hey, clergy are people too.) The isolation, the loneliness and the feeling of unfulfillment has left him thinking back to the days before he joined the clergy. To relationships with women and the deep personal interactions you can have. To the potential of a family and someone by his side. These thoughts obviously conflict with his chosen path and have caused a lot of confusion and distress for him.

          Many a long discussion and philosophical debate has ensued since we started talking.  With these discussions Paul has made his decision.  He is returning to the fold and requesting his original position back. My proposal to Paul is that he seek friendships with people that view him as a whole. As both a man of faith and also a man. I offered myself as a friend he can speak candidly with, without judgement and may have adopted him as a weird brother in the process. Paul is also going to try to enhance his local personal life and friendships to exist outside his work and faith as well.  Since his decision he writes me several times as day with updates and fears. This experience has left him feeling understandably vulnerable and unsure. He had always believed that his faith was enough to carry him through but he forgot about the human in himself who needs friends and a full life as well as his faith. The end result is Paul is happier and feeling like he has made the right choice. I am very happy for him as well. 

       Of course this experience has been unusual and amusing at times. Having to direct a member of the clergy to look up slangy curse words in urban dictionary because he was using them horrifically (and hilariously) wrong, was a new one for me. Laughingly pointing out that given my personality and job choices, if this was several hundreds of years ago he would probably be burning me at the stake. While he has tried to explain some of the odd rules he has to follow and fairly unknown religious traditions only found behind the wall of the clergy. It’s an odd twist of fate that brings a lapsed catholic turned new agey person and a member of the clergy questioning their faith and life in general together to help each other.

 It’s an odd twist of fate but one I am rather enjoying.