Ok before I start this particular blog I want to issue a
disclaimer. What I am about to write
about is not a blanket statement for all personal trainers. In fact it isn’t a
statement for 90% of the trainers out there. I have been a gym rat for a
loooooooong time at many different places and most of the trainers I have met
are solid individuals who honestly want their clients to be healthy, feel good
about themselves and meet their health goals. That being said I want to write
today about the sub population that is a disturbing constant from gym to gym.
They account for maybe one in fifteen personal trainers by my experience and
they are dangerous as hell.
Before I get
started let me weave for you a little back story. A couple months back I met a
lovely woman at the gym in one of my fitness classes. She is mid 30’s with
three kids. She is maybe 5’5, trim and fit with the glowing skin of someone who
is getting the right nutrition and water. I met her because she was starting a
new training session with a new trainer because the old one “Couldn’t get her
where she needed to be” after six weeks of work. This isn’t an uncommon
statement. It happens. Some trainers specialize in specific techniques and
those techniques may not match up with the client’s body or needs so they
switch to a different one. However, she was led to believe that the problem was
her and not the techniques being used. She was told her body is stubborn and doesn’t
want to give up the weight.
As she began
to go into more detail I became more alarmed. At best this lady weighs 130-135lbs
and us EMS folk are usually pretty damn accurate at sizing up weights on
patients. It’s a necessary skill. She is athletically fit with no real
appreciable bulges and can keep up easily in higher intensity classes. She
tells me her goal is to drop around 30lbs which would put her around the 100lbs
mark. I politely asked if she was training for something specific and she
replied no. In meeting with this new trainer, the one that “WILL GET HER TO HER
GOAL” they set a rather extreme fitness plan. When I met her that day she had
already been at the gym for three hours working out and running. She was just
going into a rather intense class hour long class and after was meeting one on
one with the trainer for more work. She became light headed a few times in
class but pushed through. She told me her food was now severely restricted and
the expectation was that she would keep to this kind of frequency indefinitely.
I had just met the woman but everything about
this set off alarm bells. I had orthorexia in my early 20s. I was taken in by a
similar kind of trainer who recognized my drive as something they could
manipulate for gains. I was indoctrinated and set off on my own to follow a
very similar plan with no appreciable goal or end. Orthorexia is a vicious eating
disorder in that the farther you fall into it the more people compliment the
results. You take in minute amounts of calories and work out 4-5 hours a day.
At my worst I was burning around 4500 calories a day working out hard five
hours and taking in 300 calories. At that point I was so depleted I ceased to
menstruate and soon after that the wake-up call came. The fact that a ‘professional’
was prescribing the same diet plan for a woman who really didn’t have 30lbs of
fat to lose was alarming to say the least. In addition the idea that they were
implying her body was somehow at fault was additionally so. I politely warned
her not to be led too far down a path away from her health and she thanked me
for my concern. We finished the class and chatted of inconsequential things and
said farewell. I left the gym worried about my new friend.
About a
month later I walked by someone sitting in the hall. I heard my name called out
and turned to see my new friend. She was slumped on the floor her back to a
wall legs splayed out before her on a break between sessions. Her skin once
glowing and beautiful was grey and slack. She had huge dark circles under her
eyes and looked exhausted. Alarmed I asked her if she was ill and her reply was
no. She had lost some of the weight but not enough for the trainers liking. The
trainer had further restricted her diet to simple foods like nuts and
vegetables. She quipped with a sad smile that her body wasn’t behaving and it
was frustrating her trainer. I sat down with her and we talked for a few
moments. I asked if the goal weight was realistic and if the trainer had
discussed this with her. I commented that when I met her a month ago she looked
beautiful and fit then so I was confused at the drastic need for weight to come
off. She told me about the first trainer commenting how amazing she would look
if she just dropped some of the weight. When the weight didn’t come off the
trainer expressed confusion and frustration and switched her to the new
trainer. Then how the second trainer told her she was too heavy and that drastic
measures were needed. She was treated as
if SHE was the problem and being new to a gym environment she bought it. She
said she was sore, and exhausted. Her hair was falling out, her sleep was poor.
Never was the idea of what would be a
healthy goal discussed. Never was there a discussion about realistic
expectations built on her body type and health. No healthy goals were
discussed. No doctor was consulted. Just extreme restrictions, 4-5 hours of exercise
a day and disappointment were prescribed with no thought to her health.
It’s
alarming in a culture like that just how easy it is to drink the kool aid and
join the cult. Who doesn’t want to be told they are beautiful? Who doesn’t have
body insecurities? Most of the trainers there want people to achieve their
goals, live a healthy vibrant life and find joy in the union of their minds and
bodies. They cheer people on and become a support structure. The trainers tat
are in it for the wrog reasons tend to manipulate their concept of health onto
others using shame and judgements. Those
few have yet to deal with their own personal fitness demons and instead inflict
them on others and to me that is appalling.
So as spring ramps up and people start all of their warm weather fitness plans here is the advice;
Buyer beware.
If it seems extreme to you say so.
If they treat you like a disappointment: Run away.
Cross check your goals with another trainer or a doctor.
No one should use a Hollywood body as a goal. That’s way too
much starvation and plastic to be healthy.
Love yourself. Respect what your body can do and praise it.
And finally the best advice I was ever given..
Add one good habit every once in a while. Eventually the
good habits will crowd out the bad and you will be golden.
I haven’t seen
my new friend around the gym for a few weeks. I selfishly hope that is because
she has parted ways from the trainer and is working with someone who has her
best interests at heart. I love the gym. I love the people, the energy, I love the
culture. I love making my body feel strong and feeling confident in what I am
capable of doing. I had to really learn those things by going through what I
did to myself in my early 20s. and in a weird way for that I am appreciative. I hope this process gives that gift to my new friend too.
Your body is not the enemy.
Its your ally
