As of a late I read the news
headlines with a preconstructed wince. It seems that humans as a species are
coming to some sort of explosive crisis. Hate, Impatience, refusal to see the
other side, over generalization, selfish demand and just general down right
assholery leads the themes. No this kind of behavior is not new, historically
as a species we are violent and have a problem seeing the long game. However,
as of late its worse. Darker. More appalling.
I am in
grad school working on my masters in counseling. (Yeah they let weridos like me
in) and prior to that I spent 15 years in the emergency medicine field. One residual
theme in EVERY patient with a mental health crisis was that they had no
positive support in their life. At some point these people were voted off society’s
island and cast adrift until they landed in the island of broken toys. And
broken toys they were. Cast offs of genetic psychiatric problems, abuse, rape,
addiction, hate and dysfunction. For whatever reason these people had more than
their share of trouble in their lives and during that trouble the people in
their life’s bailed. Sometimes for legit reasons but most often because
selfishness and anger ruled the day. Underneath every addict, every patient in
the middle of a crisis, every angry individual was a common denominator of fear
and abandonment.
Every. Damn. One.
The
counseling profession identified this fatal flaw in society a long time ago.
Yep. You read that right; it is a documented and studied phenomenon that
society causes a lot of mental health issues. Ta da! Most theoretical
approaches in counseling hold a common theme. The patient is treated with
positive accepting regard. The patient is made to feel safe and supported. The
patient is helped to strengthen their inner self while evaluating the outside
for dysfunction. The patient is listened to and their voice and experience is important.
This.
This heals people, helps them find sobriety,
recover from PTSD, Traumas and yes in many genetic psychiatric problems like borderline
personality disorder allows them to be in control of their lives. This simple
approach saves lives. A lot of lives. Let that sink in for a minute. The ever
increasing problems with mental health patients in crisis, the violence, the
escalating drug abuse, the increasing demand for psychiatric medications.. All
a product of us. Not republicans or democrats, black or white, men or women.
All of us. We are doing this to each
other and ourselves.
Holy shit, right?
I am not
saying that you as an individual are causing mass shootings. Don’t take it that
far. Society’s behavior and interactions are made acceptable but society. In
short, we decided what is acceptable in regards to interaction with each other.
If short lived support, rejection and selfishness rule the day then that’s what’s
societal norm is. What to change it? Start with you. Start with you children.
Start with strangers on the street. If you see someone struggling, stranger or
no, help. This doesn’t mean open your wallet. It means listen. It means
validate their experience and empathize. It means let someone else know that
they are not invisible, they are important because they are part of your
society. No this won’t save everyone. Some people make a decision to stay on
the island but it will help 95% of the rest.
I have
watched and read a lot of comments on the mass shootings and other local acts
of violence. There is a lot of anger and fear and those things isolate us
further. It’s a slippery slope more anger and more fear lead to more isolation
and soon we are all just Donald Trump.
So stop.
Stop seeing people as groups. Start seeing them as other
humans. Put down your phone. Offer a hand, a shoulder, support, even a joke.
Make eye contact. Smile. Hold doors for others. Don’t be a dick. Try to see
things from the others side. If you don’t know… ask. Be curious. Find common ground.
You know.. All of the qualities that helped our species evolve for thousands of
years.
Be Human.
