Ambulances are so yesteryear. They are all about saving you,
but what about taking out your assailants? You can’t count on the cops or EMS
for that. But you can call us. We come to any scary part of the city and our
response time is hella fast.
Don’t get us wrong. We might be able to save you, but we
pretty much only stock dirty knives, so it is pretty unlikely. We will,
however, make sure to hunt down anyone who may have caused your ‘accident’ and
cause an ‘accident’ of our own. If the hospital is on the way, we are totally
cool with chucking you out the side. If you tip us well, we will even slow
down…a bit.
Worried about the consequences? Don’t be. Our vehicles are
designed to impale any evidence and carry it away with us.
Why call emergency services, when you can call mayhem
services?
Whateves. It is your funeral.
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