Tuesday, February 11, 2014

He Man Watch



He Man Watch

So my brain is somewhat strange. It likes to throw out weird usually inappropriate thoughts when ever it can trip me up a little. Toss a weird song in my head? Sure. Smart ass comment before I can edit it? Yep. Notice the worst things at the worst times? Always.

 Today I was sitting with my kid watching a movie from the 80s. As we sat there watching my brain started listing off all of the awesome shows I watched as a kid. I remembered seeing He Man finally pop up on Netflix a while ago and excitedly prepped the kid to sit down and watch the awesome. I described attack tigers, fighting villains, muscles, and of course  BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!!!! ZAPCRACKMOTHERFUCKINGAWESOME!! 


        We upload the show and I excitedly hit play. Let me just save you the heartache. It's not the same as an adult. It's actually pretty creepy as an adult. If I were to make a drinking game where you had to drink every time there was some sort of vaguely inappropriate interaction between characters or just a general what the fuck vibe like you expect the Neverland ranch to have then you would be smashed with in ten minutes. 

It was a total let down.

      So I am briefly revisiting my disappointment at the lack of timeless awesome when my brain starts doing its thing again. I am a child of the 80s so I grew up playing the game Memory. Apparently my brain really liked the game because as an adult it still plays. My brain is trawling away through the characters of He Man when it starts making these horrible connections and my world was tipped up side down. 
Brace for impact friends its a doozy.

Holy shit. Baywatch TOTALLY ripped off He Man.

I couldn't agree more, Cringer.



I present to you evidence:




  He Man
 Vs 
 Matt Brody



       






Skeletor 
Vs 
The Hoff










  She Ra 
Vs 
CJ Parker





Teela 
Vs
 Stephanie Holden


5 








 
Orko 
Vs 
Hobie











 
 

 Man at arms  
Vs 
Mike Newmann 
  








 
 
Evil-Lyn
 Vs  
Caroline Holden




  The Sorceress
 Vs 
Shauni McClain











At least it wasn't Archie. 

                 I really liked that comic when I was...

OHGODDAMNITMYCHILDHOODISRUINED.

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2 comments:

  1. KJ CallawayFebruary 17, 2014 at 3:58 PM

    And count the people of color in all those shows. I remeber telling my Nana "They don't allow black people or Indians to be actors?" She was stunned.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Life: Out of OrderFebruary 17, 2014 at 4:27 PM

    It was hugely disproportionate back then and even if there was a culture represented it was as extreme a display as possible and never true to life. :/
    then again... Not all skeletons are a beefy as skeletor nor as siliconey as the cast of baywatch. ;)

    ReplyDelete

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